(Editor’s note: This interview with Psychologist Ana Paula Lage is not an endorsement and Dispatches receives no remuneration.)
London is the kind of place that allows you to have lunch with someone from Greece, study alongside a classmate from Canada, work with a colleague from Peru, then have dinner with a friend from Nepal. This makes the city one of the best to be an immigrant. Surrounded by other nationalities, expats merge into a world of possibilities.
Yet, great differences may also be accompanied by big challenges. If all the visa and paperwork bureaucracy of migrating weren’t enough, dealing with a new life far from home makes you face an identity crisis. While navigating through a major transition, many migrants struggle to keep their mental health in place.
Brazilian-Australian Psychologist Ana Paula Lage, a life transitions specialist who has herself lived in six different countries across three continents, says one of the first things expats experience is fear of the unknown. “Suddenly, everything is unfamiliar – the food, the language, social norms, the work culture. For many, there’s also a shift in social or professional status,” Lage said.
“It’s a moment full of uncertainty, which can trigger anxiety, self-doubt, guilt, or even regret.”
Tough transitions
From struggling with a new language to being rejected after several job applications, the loss of self-confidence may also lead to comparison between the new reality and the previous one. “In those moments of vulnerability, the past can seem like a much safer, easier, and better place,” she adds.
Naturally, some start to question if they made the right decision, especially if they left behind elderly parents, children or close friends. “Many people underestimate the emotional and psychological depth of what this kind of transition demands,” Lage says. “It’s not just about adapting to new streets, foods, or routines. It’s a deeper process. We’re invited, or sometimes forced, to reinterpret and redefine our identity.”
This leads to a process of grief, according to the psychologist, due to the loss of the familiar context, from a favourite shop that is no longer around the corner to a long-term doctor who is now far away. “Interestingly, this is when our past life can start to look perfect in our minds. We remember all the good and tend to idealise what we left behind,” Lage says.
While immigrants experience emotional challenges differently, depending on their personal history, cultural attachment, and openness to new experiences, struggles may also happen to those who have long waited for the move. “They still have to go through a transition period where they build new references and relationships. The difference is, perhaps, that they are more emotionally prepared to reconnect with their purpose, which helps them stay grounded when difficulties arise,” says the psychologist.
Another unexpected challenge expats face emotionally is the fear of success, where positive outcomes seem too good to be true. “The fear of success often surprises people, but this can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours, so sleep patterns change, healthy habits fall apart and a sense of hopelessness creeps in,” Lage adds, naming typical signs of emotional resistance, such as constantly complaining about the local culture, food, people and lifestyle.
“This resistance is often a reflection of how hard it is to let go of their cultural frame of reference. And we can’t forget the role of ethnocentrism. Often unconsciously, we might see the culture around us as strange, or even inferior,” warns the psychologist.
Overcoming fears and thriving as an expat
While this battle against the desire to return to the comfort zone may seem frustrating, the more reassuring news is that humans do have an instinct to seek safety. So, it helps to take one day at a time and see each new experience as part of the learning process, instead of giving way to feelings of failure.
“But stepping outside that zone is where real growth happens. During this transition, it’s essential to stay connected to the purpose behind the move,” Lage says, adding that the sense of belonging is gradually built through revisiting the “why.”
“Why did you choose this experience? What meaning does it hold for you? Which of your personal values supports this journey?” she asks migrants to reflect, as this helps achieve a deeper self-awareness. This process can also be done with the support of a mental health specialist, such as a clinical psychologist or psychotherapist, who helps people understand emotions.
“A good therapist doesn’t just help someone ‘cope’; they help the person reconnect with themselves.”
Those interested in getting professional help may either look for someone from their own cultural background or from the new setting. “That cultural sensitivity makes a big difference in how the person feels understood and supported,” she says.
Healthy habits
For those fearing they’ll never adapt to a new reality, Lage clarifies that our identity is not fixed, but it’s rather an ongoing construct shaped by our experiences. “When we move abroad, this identity goes through a sort of reconfiguration,” so it’s key to keep an open and flexible attitude. “Actively look for reasons to like where you are. Sometimes it’s as simple as finding your favourite café, joining a community class, or taking walks in your new neighbourhood.”
Healthy habits play an important role in this sort of life transition, as they can have a positive impact on physical and mental health. “Exercising, getting enough sleep, eating well, and finding healthy ways to regulate your emotions. If you don’t yet have local friends, stay connected with people online who uplift you, but also try to gently expand your circle,” says the psychologist, mentioning the importance of mingling with people from outside our “cultural bubbles”.
A way to gradually bring diversity to a personal network is by trying to interact with locals and other newcomers through hobbies and volunteer projects, activities that work as bridges to new connections. “Something really shifts when a person allows themselves to blend in. When they begin to make local friends, enjoy small conversations in the local language, and slowly open up to the city, the experience begins to feel less like ‘I’m living abroad.’ “
With time and intention, there will be a moment to actively say, “I’m home.”
–––––––––––
Read more from Andrea here in Dispatches archives.
Andrea Juste is a writer and editor covering health, psychology, travel, productivity, thought leadership, and more. Andrea was born and raised in Brazil, where she worked for a decade as a journalist before moving to Italy in search of her roots, then the UK, to connect with different cultures. Based in London, she manages content marketing projects for clients worldwide.
